A personal blog post.

My girls had been asking me for quite some time if they could have their hair cut. I was never against the idea but it did take some time for me to warm up to the actual act of having it cut. Some small part of me was hoping they would wait until they were 18 to finalize that decision. This way I didn’t have the heartbreak of seeing it cut before they were adults. I’ll explain why I felt this way towards something that may seem minor to others, when the thought of it being cut impacted me deeply. I am not and never have been easily influenced by others. I like to take my time before I make a decision be it small or large, because either way our actions have an impact on our lives and potentially others lives. 3 years ago my back broke, it was a significant time in my life that affected me deeply spiritually, physically, and mentally. One day I was walking and the next day I had the inability of mobility I was more than halfway immobile with a questionable outcome for the near future. It was then that I did a deep dive into educating myself on how to tap into what I was feeling, why I was feeling it, to understand it on another level, learn how to not project my feelings about it, and the most importantly come to terms with it all. When I tell you massive growth, accountability, and forward strides were made it is not an understatement. Recently it came to me that it was me that wasn’t ready to let go of my girls having their long hair…

There are many cultures that believe they draw strength from their hair. In some cultures long hair is perceived as being believed to raise energy levels, tranquility, and a sense of intuition. Also believed by some that the longer the hair the stronger the sense of a warrior for the person’s head that is donning it. For me though I felt as though something deep inside me felt that the act of cutting their hair was going to indeed feel as though their baby years were slipping behind them and they were going to walk into being little ladies. It was like a revelation for me, I can see them growing up each and every day and while that is to be celebrated it is certainly difficult to come to the realization that their young adult years are just around the corner. And soon the little babies will fly the nest. A part of me felt rather selfish for not allowing them to cut it sooner and I knew it was time. It was no longer my sole decision, I have raised them to be independant little thinkers and intuitive little ladies, I have taught them to stand strong in their convictions and make bold choices. They said they wanted it cut and I felt that little string I had been holding onto for so long keeping them “little” had to be gently cut with it.

When I tell you that I am crying as I type this I’m not exaggerating, I cried when I made the appointment for them to have my wonderful hairdresser (of 6 years) come to my home to cut it. By the way thank you Tiffany, she said to me via DM “I will be as modest as I can and still try to achieve what they want without breaking you.” She has become a mother over the last few years and I think she knew exactly what my mama heart needed to hear at the time. I cried as I was filling out the donation forms for their hair for them online. I cried after the photoshoot I took of them out in the warm sun filled field and the last goodbye to their long locks, I cried as the scissors took that swift first snip. I cried packaging their hair up and mailing it out to Wigs for Kids. My husband asked me why I was so emotional about it all and there are so many reasons. The main one is every single memory I had of them up to the first snip of hair was of them being newborns and me gently washing away the cradle cap and brushing their fine baby hair with the softest baby brush. Smelling their little heads after you swaddle them up and lay them down in that bassinet, not believing this beautiful little bundle is yours. Teaching their little toddler hands how to hold a brush and how to properly brush down their long tresses. To putting it in little braids, piggy tails, and eventually ponytails to keep from going in their face as they played with friends. To gently pulling it out of their eyes as they grow into pre teens and teaching them not to hide behind it as an insecurity. As a mom I cared for their hair in such a loving way from day one, and now as a pre teen and teen I have to let them fully start caring for their hair on their own. It felt like passing a torch and closing a chapter and that has been difficult for me to come to terms with, I now have little ladies and the baby days are far behind us. So yes, I was saddened.

My girls both wanted to donate their hair to someone that may be in need of it in some form or another. We chose Wigs for Kids and it truly does bring all of us a form of happiness knowing that the hair that we cared so greatly for through all it’s seasons and growth will now go towards a wig for a child and bring a smile to their face, and a sense of hope. So maybe it’s more than just one chapter opening for people, it’s my hope that whomever their hair goes to next it will be just as loved and cared for as it was between myself and my girls. Here’s to the next chapter.

A photoshoot (by me) celebrating the years of growth, letting go, and welcoming what is on the horizon.